Wednesday, October 7, 2009

That Jesus guy got it all wrong

Apparently the bible isn't quite conservative enough for some people so now there's a project to re-write it to better exemplify conservative ideals.  No, I'm not making this up.  See for yourself. They claim that error and liberal bias has crept in via new translations, though the King James version was completed in 1611 so it's only new really by geologic standards.  Either there are some very talented liberals out there or someone has a spiffy DeLorean stashed in a garage somewhere waiting for another 1.21gigawatt jolt.

Few rational, thinking people would say that the bible is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  In fact, numerous contemporary sources such as the Dead Sea scrolls, throw much of the text into serious doubt, but that hasn't stopped the Church from insisting that it's the sacred, infallible word of God, not to be challenged, doubted or changed. That text has been used over the centuries as an excuse to conquer civilizations, enslave "inferior" races, destroy cultures and kill non-believers.  Now they say the extremely popular version, in use for almost four centuries, was wrong and wasn't quite conservative and repressive enough??  Will women be relegated to fourth-class status now?

I'm not going to go through their entire "rationale" though I encourage you to do so.  The site only takes a few minutes to read and it will have you laughing and crying within seconds.  I will highlight one point to whet your appetite: It claims that the word "comrade" is a "socialistic word" so it must be removed lest tender minds get the inkling that Jesus was a socialist.  Never mind that Jesus wanted to heal the sick, feed the hungry and house the poor, which sounds pretty socialistic to me.  Maybe they'll tidy that up by instead having him beat the sick, tell the hungry to get a job and kick the poor out of town. (Chuck Noris as Jesus, anyone?)  How weak that changes in language threaten the word of their God.

Fundamentalists' need to rewrite history, even arguably fictional history, is astounding.  They're not happy unless everything fits perfectly into their restricted world view.  I guess it hurts to stretch such a narrow mind, even around their own mythology.  It's either black and white or totally incomprehensible. Jesus must be so proud.

Is nothing sacred?

Maybe not, but it is absurd.


  1. I think your fatal flaw is assuming that there are more "rational, thinking people" out there than there really are.